Dear carpet seller,
How should I phrase this so you’ll understand? Your job, your entire livelihood, is hanging by a thread. Sorry to break it to you, but it is what it is. The world you belong to, where people cannot be tempted to devote their time to anything more beneficial and mentally stimulating than taking a stroll through the bazaar in hope of being invited inside a haphazardly-arranged and overfilled stall to sit down on uncomfortable wooden benches, drink apple tea in front of some hand-woven carpets and pretend to care about the characters of the One-Thousand-and-One-Night tales they know they are being regaled with to lose sense of what material goods cost, for better or worse, that world is dying out.
But don’t cry out in despair just yet. The good news are that you’re not going to be left behind, bereft of options. As a matter of fact, what our company offers can hardly be considered a pair of floaties, given how much money we’re going to help you save. You heard right! You may as well go book your next holidays in a lovely wristband resort right away! But first, let me elucidate.
Imagine for a second you could predict almost to a T your monthly customer flow––without disregarding seasonality––the rate at which carpets fray and the exact amount of maintenance they require to stay attractive to potential buyers for as long as possible, the type of carpets receiving higher praise––in whatever form it may come––the type of customers willing and able to spend the big bucks, those who’re more likely to complain more or less loudly or publicly, the type of promotion that’s going to have the best turnout, as in the precise word sequences that’ll do the trick and sway customers into taking your wonderful carpets home, …
Everything can be optimised nowadays––you name it!––from the resources needed to produce tantalising carpets to the degree you have to tilt your head and widen your smile to secure a sell. And who wants to feel responsible for not making the most out of one’s circumstances?
Well, we are here to relieve you of that burden and show you the path to making an honorable living, without the need to resort to haggling for a measly income. And it’s not just you, nobody can be bothered with the hassle of dealing with random people face to face anymore. After all, every agreement reached comes at the expense of a lengthy and taxing negotiation that leaves all parties involved deflated, with the feeling of not having been able to put it all out there and take everything into account.
But don’t worry, that’s already a thing of the past. And you can trust us to guide you into the future, because we speak your language, or at least the one you should recognise as admissible, as procuring agreeable messages, in as far as you can claim to speak a language that’s understandable.
As Aladdin would say: Let us take you on a magic carpet ride to a whole new world!